


My theory on Zayn's departure

by OcelatteWorld



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 1d, M/M, Zoius, lilo, little mix - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5764081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OcelatteWorld/pseuds/OcelatteWorld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was when Niall and Zayn came into the scene, from the dressing room, completely unaware of the rising tension between Liam and Louis. “Okay. I dare you to kiss Zayn.” Once the message was clear, everybody was exchanging looks. Harry thought it was a pretty good idea and took side on Louis on the dare. Automatically, Liam complained because he was so full of himself not to realize his pride got the worst out of him. He could’ve just walked away and forget sportsmanship but that would mean Louis wins. And just like Louis, he doesn’t admit defeat."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This composition is cut into two chapters:  
> The first: This is us World Tour, Zayn's words to Liam on the way home, Zayn and Louis' closure, Zayn and Liam's first kiss  
> The Second: Zayn's Depature on the world tour and 1D, Zayn and Louis miscommunication, Liam and Louis' kiss and how it affected Zayn, 1D indefinite Hiatus' primary goal.

After the last concert in Europe was done; the boys took a break off schedule, before flying to North America, to visit their families. And having to depart into different places, even for just awhile, felt so weird like it’s always been the five of them together and having the other four lads away for a few days’ changes everything but all of them were actually looking forward to going home.

Usually, the days start with early wake-up calls and continues to be a series of adventure of endless fast forward, aesthetic adrenaline rushes and ends with late-night practices, but now, on their first day of break, on their way home, waiting at the airport, they got a lot of time in their sleeves to be themselves and not having to worry about any of those things in the time being.

At Dublin airport, around six in the evening, it was only Harry, Liam and Zayn who were left on the waiting list of boarding on to their separate flights. Niall was the first to leave over an hour ago, then after a mere thirty minute flight interval, Louis followed. Zayn’ flight was next but the three are having so much fun together; Liam and Harry had convinced Zayn to board in his flight on the final boarding call. Zayn reluctantly agreed; he was also having fun, so why rush?

When it was time for him to leave, he didn’t linger too long; it was clear to him that it was his flight being announced in public for final boarding; he immediately got up and waved good bye to his two colleagues before heading out. Liam hugged him with one hand and gave him a few taps on his back for good luck while his hands simultaneously found its way behind Liam’s neck and the other on his back then sprinted away before thing could’ve gotten any awkward.

“Have a fun flight home…” Liam shouted as he watched Zayn stride upwards on the escalator two steps at a time.

“I’ll try but I’ll miss you too much Liam.” His response was almost automatic; he only had stop by then when he realized what he had said. Normally, he wouldn’t share most of his thoughts to the band, regardless of whether it’s an opinion or a personal thing, because he felt like it was irrelevant and he doesn’t his thoughts to change their view of one thing. Liam just stood there, confused and shocked; Zayn’s last words to him weren’t unnecessary but to Liam’s point of view, he didn’t have the chance to ask him if he meant it. If he did, that doesn’t change anything at all except probably the knowledge of somebody missing you while you’re gone.

“Hello?!” Harry called out sadly, waving good bye as if he never bid his farewell to Zayn before he had just sprinted off like that and had already forgotten about him.

It was weird for Zayn to have said those words but they just came out of his mouth like he had been holding it for quite awhile and given the chance, it had just slipped under his breath. He felt guilty for not telling Liam exactly what he meant but even him, doesn’t fully understand as to why he said that and the more he thought about it, the more anxiety he felt, like there’s this growing void in his chest that made him feel so empty. _What if he would actually miss Liam so much?_ _What if I am unknowingly in love with Liam?_ These questions had bothered him a lot of times now but when they came across in his mind tonight, they weren’t questions anymore. They were reminders; constantly reminding him that he’s inlove with somebody he isn’t suppose to be inlove with. He obviously didn’t want to believe in them but the lingering loneliness that reminded him that Liam wouldn’t be around for a few days tells him otherwise.

……

The first two days at home was pretty warm-welcoming for Zayn. He had missed his family, who he just sees over the phone for the past two years and was now finally reunited with them in person. His thoughts about Liam had almost vanished into thin air, replaced with family love that filled his thoughts every step of the way. He had to make up with his sisters for having to be gone for a long time and a long chat to his parents about this career and experience with the world so far. Zayn has big heart even though he wouldn't admit it and loves to wears his heart on his sleeves. To him, his Family always comes first and whenever there’s a family matter; he’s always there to help but it’s also in his nature to be, kind-of, left alone; to relax and chill out. He was voted by the band to be most likely to have gone somewhere without saying anything. His creative side works best whenever he’s alone.

On the third day, the void was back and the reminders were played on a constant loop. The inflicting pain of missing somebody hurts as much as it was a physical wound but only it wasn’t curable on spot. He had to bear the burden, or hopefully let it die, as the days go by. He continued to spend his time alone in his room, graphitized his wall to let his mind think of something else instead of emptiness in his chest. His parents never asked him about his sexual orientation. He was dating Perrie Edwards and the media made it very clear they were in love so they never talked about it. But honestly, he’s only with Perrie to help out Little Mix.

At night, Zayn would often ask himself if it was okay to call Liam and ask him, how he was doing but every time he felt like doing so, there’s this tiny voice inside his head where it kept telling him that there was no solid reason as to why he wanted to ask him that, unless he wanted to tell him he’s been struggling of missing somebody which was, unfortunately, him. Come to think of it, with just having a quick hug on Liam made him said words he shouldn’t have told him, how much more an entire conversation of telling him how he felt. He might be saying words that unknowingly, have been buried deep in his thoughts.

He was getting delusional and sleep was the only answer to that problem but the thoughts wouldn’t go away even with his eyes closed. As the days passed by, he felt the urge of wanting Liam more and more.

……

Two years later, Zayn still had his feeling buried deep underneath the surface and was nowhere close of admitting it to Liam. The closest thing he’d ever get to tell Liam about his affection for him was his capability of making it look fake and scripted for fun. He loves doing it but there’s a line that he needs to be aware of; making sure he doesn’t go too far away from it to avoid suspicion and being on the hot topic for a month. A lot of things happened these past two years and one of them was the closure between Louis and Zayn. Louis is great person to just-like sit and admire what he’s like. These guys were best friends at one point and they have gone through so much in the past year. They talked for a while about how crazy life had gotten for them. To Zayn, Louis was like the brother he never had. They even got matching tattoos. When Zayn confessed to Louis about his love of having Liam all to himself, he completely understood him and helped him talk it out. It was stressful but Louis saw Zayn rising out from being such an introvert whenever Liam’s around or in the same room with him. But the way how Louis’ mind works isn’t as containable as Zayn thought it would be; his mischievousness was unpredictable, his jokes were out of context but still undeniably funny and his genuinely unique brain works like a weird comedian; nobody knows what he’s up to.

Louis was on his way backstage to grab a few snacks before they head on for practice when he overheard Harry and Liam talking, they were sitting side benches along the corner, not far from to where he was going, and happened to heard them arguing about who’s the better kisser.

“The best kisser?” Louis asked and both Harry and Liam turn heads when they heard him. “I hardly doubt it’s either the two of you.” The amount of effort he made his voice to sound extremely serious was absolutely flawless.

“I kissed more girls than you did. Does that mean I win by default?.” Liam shot back at him. Louis had his full attention and if he wanted to play a game, Liam would have reluctantly agreed without thinking. Liam and Louis don’t mix well, they don’t get along with each other; they were at each other’s throats while they were at the x-factor. There was even this one point where Liam literally wanted to whack him. They were two different characters and whenever Louis does something slightly mischievous, he would always be the daddy. That’s why he got him his name ‘Daddy Direction.’ But they’ve corrupted him a little bit.

“Sure, you’ve kissed a lot of girls in your life but do you assume that every girl you kiss likes it?”

“I smell competition here.” Harry interrupted. Having to watch between the two, fight like siblings was almost as good as pranking Niall in his sleep and with the two just throwing hate comments at each other, he wanted to step it all up. Liam nodded in approval because he knew very well that he was going to win the bet but Louis has other plans.

It was when Niall and Zayn came into the scene, from the dressing room, completely unaware of the rising tension between Liam and Louis. “Okay. I dare you to kiss Zayn.” Once the message was clear, everybody was exchanging looks. Harry thought it was a pretty good idea and took side on Louis on the dare. Automatically, Liam complained because he was so full of himself not to realize his pride got the worst out of him. He could’ve just walked away and forget sportsmanship but that would mean Louis wins. And just like Louis, he doesn’t admit defeat.

“Why would he want to kiss me?” Zayn asked, playing the innocent card but when his stare met Louis’, the message came directly into his brain so he needed to on the same page as Louis was. He didn’t want to give off a scent that he would love to see him do so he hesitantly disagreed but Louis _convinced_ him that Liam called himself the best kisser in the band and what better proof than to test it on his band mates, themselves.

Harry, Niall and Louis were already chanting for them to kiss and Harry shoved Liam closer to Zayn because he kept on resisting the dare.

“Come on then, come on,” Zayn said, putting his head close to Liam.

It was like when you’re going to have a fight. Then he just leaned forward and kissed him.

……

  


 

                                                                                          

 

 

 


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "During their concert in Birmingham, England, Liam had a few shots before the show and his three colleagues had no idea whatsoever. He and Sophia were fighting again and nobody in the band knew about it and he didn’t offer to talk it out so instead he got himself slightly drunk. When they had performed onstage, Liam had called Louis’ attention and when he cocked his head sideways to let him whisper something into his ear, he wrapped his hand around Louis’ neck then went for a kiss in his lips. Imagine Louis’ reaction, having to see them both kissing in public. Once Louis knew what he was doing, the moment their lips touched, he pulled away pretending it was a miscommunication and went along with the concert."

It’s a year after, Zayn signed off One Direction's world tour with stress in the wake of new cheating claims and a few weeks after Zayn leaves one direction for good to go solo career. Zayn had meetings with lawyers, record company executives and ¬accountants about his desire to quit the chart-topping boy band.

  
But ultimately it was his mum’s guidance that sealed the decision that has rocked the pop world. Zayn is incredibly close to his mum. She has been his guiding light and he respects her massively. She and his dad, Yaser, raised him and his three sisters on very little money but they were always happy and wanted for nothing. That has made him realise that happiness is more important than fame and fortune. In any case, now he has the fortune he doesn’t need the fame. His mom pointed this out and told him the family are immensely proud and he wasn’t letting them down by quitting.

  
That’s what swung it. If she had told Zayn to stick with the band, he’d have listened. He told a pal he would “rather have his picture taken a few times a year than a hundred times a day”

  
But secretively, he didn’t want to miss the opportunity for the media to think of it that way along with several more groundless assumptions of fans and haters alike to most likely to believe in. When Liam and Sophia became couples back in 2013, Zayn didn’t actually mind at all. Liam was spending more time with the band than with her so he had no reason to be jealous. Zayn was indeed happy with the fact that Louis was on his side of the story and Liam had no idea about it. But when people get their priorities straight and spend more time with the people they cared so much about, that’s when Zayn began to lose Liam by his side.

  
For the sake of not losing him completely, he offered to stay but only for one reason and that reason alone; keep Liam close. Sure, Liam often times mistaken his actions for a prank or joke but constantly disappearing without contacting the others is Zayn’s ways of finding redemption of his own loss; that the shear truth about his love for Liam will always be a joke---the biggest joke---of his entire life. The only person who had seen him struggle so poorly in private was Louis and this was the kind of person who often times----mostly---didn’t know when to stop. Louis had Zayn off the cliff several times but because he was such a good comedian, he had the others doubt their suspicions and believe it was all just for fun but Zayn knows and it irritates him, the most, that Louis couldn’t even just keep one secret to himself.

  
Suddenly, Liam was constantly busy with his fiancé and Louis wasn’t much of a help lately, everything in Zayn’s world began to crumble and when he had saw the opportunity to leave One direction, he didn’t hesitate.

  
He knew he couldn’t keep going like that forever and the pain, alone, was too much to handle every single damn day of his life, thinking that Liam belongs to somebody else. He told the team that he wanted to go solo and they were angry at him at first, but that hate gradually died as they understood why he needed to go but Louis knew better than just his own taste of music and the constant pressure of the entire world sitting on his shoulders.

  
When he asked him if it was all about Liam; he didn’t say anything but told him he wanted to go solo career for the better. Louis felt rejected as if the bond they both, once had, didn’t mean anything to him like he didn’t trusted him anymore but Louis wouldn’t want to mess everything up and start pushing Zayn to tell him the truth. If he had wanted space and time, he could’ve just told him but suddenly he didn’t had the urge to ask him that but watched him slowly walking away.

  
                                                                                                  ……

  
When Zayn left, Louis felt something was missing and it was indeed that constant bickering and stealing glances of Zayn across the room. It was him whom felt most of the silence when he left even though Zayn wasn’t much of a talker but his actions created a lot of memories with him. So having to know the real reason behind Zayn’s departure led him to feel guilty and without Zayn being there to constantly check him out if he had told anybody about his secret, he came up to Liam to tell about Zayn.

  
It was only Liam, whom he had shared the tale and having them alone in the room to talk about it was so formal that when Louis was done talking, Liam was just so okay with it that he didn’t actually feel disgusted or insulted. To Liam, Zayn was his family and having to let him go away because of the pain he had, unknowingly, scarred him indirectly, had him thinking of apologizing to Zayn immediately but before Liam had dialed Zayn on the phone, Louis had stopped him. He knew Zayn would be in outrage once he had known he had shared his secrets to Liam and wouldn’t have the guts to face him in the future.

  
“We mustn’t take any unnecessary actions, we cannot afford to lose another band member here.” Louis told Liam.

  
“Right.” Liam agreed.

  
They had to show Zayn something, without telling him directly, that he’s still belongs in the group and the band will always welcome him back whenever he decides to return and what better way of doing so than having him to see what he had missed the most; Liam. When they had Liam’s shirt get ripped off by Liam during concert in Minneapolis. They thought it was a win-win condition for both the fans and Zayn but after days of waiting, still Zayn refuses to return.

  
During their concert in Birmingham, England, Liam had a few shots before the show and his three colleagues had no idea whatsoever. He and Sophia were fighting again and nobody in the band knew about it and he didn’t offer to talk it out so instead he got himself slightly drunk. When they had performed onstage, Liam had called Louis’ attention and when he cocked his head sideways to let him whisper something into his ear, he wrapped his hand around Louis’ neck then went for a kiss in his lips. Imagine Louis’ reaction, having to see them both kissing in public. Once Louis knew what he was doing, the moment their lips touched, he pulled away pretending it was a miscommunication and went along with the concert.  
At the backstage, the two had a hard time arguing what it was all about. Louis thought Liam had gone hysterical and was desperate of having Zayn back in the band and Louis was taking too long to decide what to do that led him to do it. Of course, Liam told him that and had full knowledge, that that wasn’t the truth but Sophie wasn’t the one to blame there.

  
When they had tried everything to convinced Zayn to go back and failed, they were only left with one option and that is to tell him exactly what Liam felt for him. Of course he had made it more dramatic and sincere to have Zayn believe in it but with the facts given, Liam was straight and Zayn wasn’t obviously his type. Sure, he had let him kiss him several times off and onstage but to him, it was just a joke even with the extended knowledge, that for Zayn, it was purely sincere and real. He didn’t want to hurt Zayn’s feelings even more but he had to make things work out for the best.

  
When Zayn finally said yes, they had to plan something for the media to dig into when Zayn returns and not wanting to have them fed on the real reason behind, Louis and Liam proposed a Hiatus to the rest of the team and promised to be reunited in the future no matter what. Louis backed it off with some reasons as to why having to do a solo career for awhile isn’t a bad idea and could boost their popularity back on the top charts.

  
When it was settled, Liam couldn’t ask for anything more in the world but to be reunited with Zayn.


End file.
